Weiss: This is going to be short and sweet 

Urban: Okay perfect. By the way, I’m obsessed with Imber. I love that you are doing this. I just love this so I am excited. 

Weiss: Yeah I’ve loved putting this together, just like my summer passion project. I have some questions for you. And I am going to start by saying… Thank you for doing this Miles!

Urban: Of course

Weiss: Do you want to introduce yourself?

Urban: Sure. I am Miles Urban. I am a student and artist from Marin County California. Obviously, I go to school at Wesleyan University in Connecticut. I guess I could do a little bit about my background in the arts. 

Weiss: Yeah you totally could. My first question is when; did you start taking photos?

Urban: Well I guess I’ve always been really passionate about art and design but I really didn’t get into photography in a fine art context until college. I honestly think that my discovery of my love for the medium was really integral to the amount of inspiration I now have, or how excited I am about it. I took a lot of painting and drawing classes throughout Middle School and High School and then I thought I wanted to be a fashion designer. (Laughs)

Even if I was working on an art project one of my favorite parts of the process would be the final recording of it or taking photos of it. I had my mom’s film camera and I’d bring it to hang out with my friends. So I feel like I was always engaging with photography. This is weird to say but friends are like “I want to get into photography” and I’m like you already are. Like I don’t know. I seriously was. While it may have looked a little different than what my process is now which I am sure we will get into. So it was already a part of my life. But really when I got to Wesleyan, I really started to take photos on a more serious level.

First of all the photo program at Wesleyan is so cool and got me so excited. I think being in an environment where I started to imagine what my art could look like in a fine art context photography really started to appeal to me. First semester I borrowed Alex’s camera and like started going out as much as I could into Middletown and started taking photos of random things. I think I still have some of those original photos which I can send you if you want. 

Weiss: Yeah I’d love to see

Urban: It was super different from what I am doing now.

Weiss: When it's just you and your camera what do you feel? Is there something specific that you wish to capture or do you also allow yourself spontaneity? 

Urban: That's a really good question. That's honestly something that I feel like I am confronting when I am executing my work. I mean the biggest challenge I face, which relates to this whole spontaneity and planned photography dilemma is that I really want my photography to be personal like I am trying to tell a story.

And that's what I have been trying to push myself to do during my summer work, like engage with my own experiences, my own themes that I’ve sort of confronted throughout my life. The way I like to shoot best is like super specific. I am super meticulous. I have a list in my notes app where I'll record really specific notes for a vignette I want to capture. Hold on I am trying to pull it up. Look I have all of these

Weiss: Oh my gosh that's incredible

Urban: Oh! Pristinely ironed pink sheets in Tessa's room but then one of those plastic prank spilled bottles on the bed. Like you know the little wine glass photo?

Weiss: Yeah

Urban: The most inspiration that I find artistically is when I have a really clear idea and I go into the shoot with my camera ready to execute it. That also takes a lot of different forms I feel like that is really where my art background converges. A lot of the photos I am taking are either the props that I built, found objects, or archival material. I’m trying to broaden my scope of sourcing for materials and props that I use. It's almost like creating a sort of cinematic vignette. I want to have full control of the frame but what I've realized is that it's really not possible. That's where I feel like it's this balance of the fleeting moment that I think is very integral to the medium itself and then the planned sort of orchestrated performance side of photography. So I come into the shoot with a specific idea but it never ends up going the way that I plan. Honestly, that is something that I am forcing myself and urging myself to embrace more. Even my teacher at school, Sasha, was like just let things happen, get weird with it.

Stained, Miles Urban

Weiss: Please correct me if I am wrong, but your work I guess in general feels very narrative-driven. There is a sense when I am looking at each piece, that the images are not simply happenstance. Your work feels intentional. When you pick up a camera what is it that compels you to shoot and document? Why do you choose the stories you do?

Urban: Yeah I honestly think that what compels me to shoot happens even before I pick up the camera. I think the story that I am trying to tell is a reflection on my childhood or even still now, my present experience with anxiety. When I was younger I was diagnosed with OCD. I went through this intensive exposure therapy process. My therapist would recapitulate my fears in front of me and I had to resist a compulsion or tell myself that everything was going to be okay. Growing up I was engaging with these themes of performance and deception and it was almost like I was in this weird conflict where lying to myself almost functioned as a mode of healing or progress. When I started to take photos I found myself recalling those really vivid or visceral experiences sitting in my therapist's office or sitting in my house.

I was very afraid of what I didn't know at the time. Like security and safety and also just when things were uncertain. I feel like in a way the way that I create photos is another version of that. I have these vivid pictures and vignettes in my head that I can't stop thinking about and then I am orchestrating them a lot like I did in that therapist's office like orchestrating those sort of fake scenarios to test myself to improve, whatever that means. The way that I take photos is really that. I am sort of creating this scenario and that's when things don't always go as planned. Things sort of change. It's really a meditation on my experience in those spaces. Still today a lot of the photos I am taking I want them to be really saturated with color but below the surface, there's a sort of sinister, more psychological element.

I had a great childhood. I was happy but at the same time there was this paradox where I was so happy and everything was so beautiful but it almost functioned as a facade sometimes because, behind all of that, I also was very anxious.

Weiss: Recently on your photo account you posted an image, which you have submitted to Imber as well and the caption I guess particularly intrigued me. Can I read it? 

Urban: Yeah yeah

Weiss: You said; “An image taken from the window of my childhood bedroom. What is now a space of futility once harbored my intrusive childhood anxieties. Now, bathed in light and warmth, it’s easier to disregard its more sinister evocations.” There is a playfulness to your images and it's almost like an ode to childhood. How has it been to explore these spaces that you once inhabited as a child through your lens today? And in doing so, has this time allowed you to reexamine your past? 

Urban: That's a really good question. That's sort of like the conundrum that I'm facing right now. Or not really the conundrum but I think like in the beginning I was only focusing on my anxiety or my experience as a past thing but I am realizing that just as much when I am taking a photo out the window of my childhood bedroom or in a place that once scared me, when I am engaging with the past I think I am also engaging with the present. Like recreating the childhood fear that I once experienced. It's almost a mode of healing all over again. When I say healing I don't mean healing from trauma or something really intense and violent. Just sort of like reexamining my childhood anxieties and sort of laughing about the absurdity of all of them which is really cathartic in a way. That's actually exactly how I would describe sort of the re-exploration of these spaces and these ideas and these moments. I am re-engaging with them in this sort of new and insightful way that is, yeah, cathartic. It's been really good for me because it's something I can engage with independently. Yes I am just taking photos and yes it is just art but there is something very personal-

Weiss: It's almost nurturing to your inner child too it seems like 

Urban: Totally. I think growing up with anxiety or OCD or whatever can be looked at as an inherently negative thing there is also beauty to it. There's something very interesting about these fascinations and these fears that I had that were so absurd and not feasible. I was afraid for my safety and I was in a perfectly safe environment. I was completely shielded from all of these scenarios but I still couldn't stop thinking about them. It's the same way with the photo ideas. I am thinking about these things and I can't get these pictures, these moments out of my head and it's almost like-

Weiss: It's a part of you

Urban: Yeah. I feel like I've really become intertwined with the photos that I am taking in a very exciting way. That's the way that I think I want it to be.

Weiss: Stylistically speaking, throughout your work, there seems to be a theme of brightness and slight overexposure in your images. This gives me a sense of austerity almost. That the image is to be taken as it is given and that we as a viewer should be reminded that there is a camera and an artist with an agenda behind the lens. It's blatant in its nature almost, in a brilliant way I think. Is this a choice you have made or is this aesthetic just a natural result of your work?

Urban: Yeah I think honestly that's something that I am still sort of trying to figure out. When I am taking the pictures I am obviously looking at these moments from my own perspective. Clarity is something that I really push for. I really like a crispy image where everything is in sight and everything is laid out. It's both mysterious yet overt at the same time and that's really important to me. I want it to be an environment where you can see everything but there is something looming in the background. It's where these physical objects, these physical props, these physical experiences become more psychological and more emotional. I guess I want the audience to sort of be perhaps a voyeur to that experience. Almost like an onlooker but also incorporated into that experience. I mean I think for some people the themes I am exploring will resonate and for others, it will not. It's almost like a little glimpse into my mind in a way. All of the experiences that I had as a child with anxiety, still the experiences that I am having today; color, atmosphere, and environment, are tied. Like there's a physicality that is so important to all of those memories that is so much better conveyed through the photo, the picture rather than- 

Weiss: A visual language

Urban: rather than written. Yes! Our memories, our trauma, and our friendships, are all tied to something physical. It's almost like a convergence of the physical and psychological. I'm still trying to figure it out but I want the audience to sort of be suspended in that moment. I guess that's the position I want to put the audience in. 

Weiss: Obviously as artists, we routinely navigate projections and parameters. At times these guidelines can be helpful but then often they can just contribute to the noise of what others have to say which can be entirely unhelpful. How do you step outside of that and prioritize your individual vision? 

Urban: Yeah that's a really good question. First of all, I definitely struggle with how my art is being perceived, and how other people are consuming the content that I produce. The root of all of that is honestly, Instagram. That's when it's hard to be a young photographer because it's not like I am having a bunch of shows or publishing a book. None of that is happening yet. The majority of my art (and I think the same is to be said about a lot of other artists) becomes a social commodity as much as it is an artistic one.

Also just like photography in general is received in a different way than other artistic mediums like painting. Painting is such a classic and historic practice. When someone sees a really great painting even if they are not an artist they are like wow. I can see the physical skill, I can see the brushstrokes, and I can see the layering of paint. Where when you look at a photo-

Weiss: It might not be as obvious

Urban: A lot of people would be like, “ I could take that photo”. And I'm not saying that I am using a language that no one understands- like that's not at all what I am trying to say

Weiss: (Laughs) 

Urban: There is something so beautifully simple about a photo. It's one moment. Like if I was engaging with film I would be compiling a bunch of editing. You know it's a much more visible process, in terms of the work that goes into it. My biggest preoccupation is how well my photos are going to perform or if people are going to get them. At the same time the fact that they are so successful and the fact that all of my friends, some of them in art and some of them not, the fact that they are seeing them is sort of like the different interpretations that are being gleaned from the photos that I am publishing. I talk to friends who are less involved in art, have completely different interpretations of my work, or are not vocalizing what the meaning is in the same way that I necessarily would. The happiest I am as an artist is not necessarily in the photo world. When somebody who is not necessarily involved with art is talking about my photos, although it may be in a different way than how I would talk about it I can see that they are itching at the same goal of what I am in describing what they are feeling. That makes me feel the most rewarded. In terms of prioritizing my individuality, at the end of the day reemphasizing the fact that photography is a relationship between me and the camera is honestly just like going out to shoot for fun.The majority of the work that I publish on Instagram is digital because I really like the vivid colors, the editing, and the post-production opportunities that come with a non-analog process. I also shoot a lot of film I just bring my film camera when I’m out with my friends, when I am around my house. That's when I think I keep my individuality alive. There are times when I have no ideas, I am so burnt out, and I have no meticulous writing for what I want to do next. I'm like at the end of the day photography can just be a one-on-one thing where I pick up the camera and take a photo of my dog or a shadow on my bed.

Weiss: How do you see your time this summer? You finished your first year at Wesleyan and are gearing up for your second. What does the space between these two chapters mean to you and to your art?

Urban: Yeah I honestly feel, and I was just emailing Sasha, my teacher, about my summer update or whatever. I was telling her this summer has been so crucial for me in my artistic process because there's a sort of challenge about putting so much time into your art but completely individually. I have such limited access to my peers or critique or to my teacher that I think I think in some ways… like if I’m at school really not knowing what to do next with the photo or not knowing how to edit it or not knowing if this theme that I want to explore is going to work I could just turn to a peer or a teacher and be like “hey could you give me some advice” it's easier to find a solution. Being in the space in between where I am in this space completely alone where I am doing work by myself, I am sitting like grueling over… I will say when I go to my job and am folding shirts and hanging up jackets all I am thinking about is whether this photo going to work or I'll look at it during my break and am like I hate this. And then at the end of the day, I'll be like no I kind of love it.The thing about this time is that I am sort of just sitting in this discomfort, this cycle of I hate it I love it I don't like it I wonder what people are going to think about it. I think that produces a sort of persistence and I guess it's given me a lot of confidence in my work because not only do I have to think about if other people love it but I have to sort of be satisfied with my own work. My harshest critic is myself, which is a classic

Weiss: There's truth to that though

Urban: No exactly. When you said you were doing this theme about summer and this very transitional period in between an academic context I got so excited. That's totally the stage that obviously I am at right now but on a more emotional level it's been really challenging. But as we are nearing the end of the summer I've come out the other side with a much more refined and insightful understanding of the photos that I want to take. It's been a process that's been almost entirely individual

Weiss: What are you most looking forward to in the coming months?

Urban: I guess this is the exact opposite of what I just said but I am excited to go back to class and to be in an academic context. There is something so amazing about being at a crit table and actively hearing from my peers. I feel like while half of my practice is my love for taking photos the other half is my love for talking about photos. The other thing I have been doing this summer, which I guess I should have said in my last answer is just like looking at artists' websites, trying to go to in-person exhibits, trying to go to virtual exhibits. I just love photography and from an external perspective as well so I miss seeing how my peers' work is developing and how I am figuring out my own stuff alongside them. I am excited to be back in an academic context. Also to be in a different environment. I am super inspired by Middletown for some reason. Perhaps it's like the boredom that I feel- 

Weiss: What do you think inspires that? 

Urban: Yeah I talk about it a lot. I don't think I am going to go abroad for the sole reason that I am just really inspired by Middletown. I think part of it is that I grew up going to Amherst a lot and staying at my grandparent's house and doing nothing all day and honestly that was a very anxious experience in itself because I had nothing to distract me. It's the same sort of thing with a town like Middletown. I mean there is a lot to do because we are in college but when I am thinking artistically I am like well there is not much around me that I can really like-

Weiss: In that absence, it's like what do you derive from that?

Urban: Yeah it's like giving me another space to just sort of sit with myself. I am excited to be back in Middletown but then also taking classes and yeah

Weiss: Going back a bit, I think that there is magic in that contrast of existing alone in your creativity and then also being surrounded by peers and critiques. Yeah, the two work well together. This was so much fun I wish we could go longer

Urban: This was so fun. I like love talking with you. You made such good questions like everything I was thinking about before or like what I wanted to bring up you got it right out of me. Hopefully, I answered the questions okay. I like to ramble

Weiss: I love it. Let me know when you are in Amherst

Urban: Yes I will text you because I need to see you and I am going to be super bored

Weiss: We can take photos

Urban: Yes, maybe in the boredom I'll find inspiration. (Laughs). But I'll text you when I'm in Amherst 

Weiss: Okay sweet. See you soon regardless

Urban: Yes, see you soon. Thank you so much, Tae 

Flux, Miles Urban

Gust, Miles Urban

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